Lifestyle

What makes a difference in life

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Hi there people! How’s your day going so far?

If you ask me, I’m finding it quite hard not to think of this day as a very special one. Not only because, for the first time since I started my blog, I’m adressing to you directly, but also, because today, of all days, I’ll be writing about “passions”. I’ll be writing about finding your way in life and getting to know what you really enjoy about it.
But before I go any further in this matter, let me state my humble point of view about it very shortly: IT’S TOTALLY ALRIGHT IF YOU STILL HAVEN’T FOUND WHAT MAKES YOU SHIVER AND FEEL PASSIONATE ABOUT. Yes! even if you feel you are already “too old” to do so. Even if you feel that the train has already gone by and you haven’t hopped on. I beg you to get that horrible idea out of your mind. There’s no such thing as being “too old” to do what you truly love. And so as for you to understand what I mean, I would like to give you a fine example of this: my own grandmother.
When she turned 70 she started to take piano lessons. She is now 84 and still thrilled by it. We all know that she most certainly will never get to play on stage… But here is when we need to stop and think for a while… Don’t you think she already knew that? Of course she did. It was never her intention to be the best piano player in the whole world. She didn’t even dream about playing to sombody else. Actually, I myself just heard her once.
The truth is, guys, it should be the same for every single one of us. Because It’s not only about being the best at something. Or being known and famous because of what we do. It’s just about enjoying our time the most we can while we are still alive.
My grandmother lost her husband a couple of years ago, and the piano lessos (and her grandchildren as well, of course) is what keeps her going. This is what makes her get up every single day and smile. This is what made her become a happier and better person herself.

A few months ago my mind went back to high school days. In between my memories I found a very particular one; teachers and elders contantly telling us that by the age of 18 we were supposed to figure out what we planned to do as a living for the rest of our lives. A lot of questions came to my mind as a result.

Did I struggle through the process? Did I make a good choise back then? Does the majority of children really know what they want? Do adults know what they want? Are student really guided during the process? Do schools have any idea how important this moment is in a children’s life? I couldn’t help worrying…

The truth is, when we get to that point of having to choose whatever we want to do for a living we ARE NOT prepared. Schools don’t do much to encourage students to identify their own self, their own journey. EVERY single student is introduced in the same generic bag of bullshit, making them believe that they are all the same. They ARE NOT all the same. WE are not all the same. Peolpe have different needs, different tastes, different “abilities”, different ideas. People have different inner urges… and society keeps unifying them!

Some people accept the fact that picking something to do at that age, even if they don’t really know if they truly want that it, is part of life and do quite nicely. Some manage to live their lives happily with no speacila regrets. Some others don’t really want to choose anything if they know it would make them unhappy and take some more time. But there’s also another good deal of people that feel really lost and missunderstood, and that’s my case. They end up picking whatever comes to their mind or what their parents chose back when THEY were 18. The feeling of being lost stays there and  in the future sometimes transforms into more profund.  

What we are not told when we are teenagers is that we ARE allowed to be mistaken and take back whatever we thought it might be good for us… We can start all over again knowing better! Their’s no need to be scared. “Lost time” is not as lost as we might think.  During difficult times, WE LEARN FASTER. Society is scared of making mistakes. Let’s not be!

I want to tell you how this process was and still is for me…

As a 25 year old girl, I’m still struggling myself with finding my own path in life. For many years I was so worried and so depressed about it… During my early 20s I was constantly hopping here and there, every time thinking that I had finally found what I was so passionate about and could do the rest of my life. But It always ended up the same. Me realising that I wasn’t so into it after all. I would definetely get bored in the long run and would feel I had nothing new to learn anymore. That was the point were I would get depressed and would punish myself for it. Even my mom would tell me I was not constant enough and that I should be more persistent. What she was saying, wasn’t so wrong after all, and that really hurt. I was quiting my studies oftenly, I was not finishing anything I started, and it was getting really frustraiting. It felt like I was failing my parents, that I was failing me, and that I was not meant to find that one thing I really loved.

As time went by, though, I was able to get to know myself better. I got to the point where I realised I was, maybe, I little bit different from what society wanted me to be. My inner voice was telling me I was not going to be able to stick to something in particular permanently. And not because I was not constant enough, but because I really enjoyed doing different stuff at the same time. I was always refusing to “get married” to one and only activity, I didn’t want to “get married” to a fixed job. I knew I could easily fall for a wide range of ideas and opportunities as long as it meant to be constantly changing, to be constantly shapeshifting. Getting to know that really opened my mind.
I wanted to explore different áreas, to learn whatever came into my mind. I wanted to read about wine, about food and nutrition. I wanted to know about psycology, to do sports, to get involved with visual arts. I wanted to sing and to listen to music as much as I could. I wanted to write songs, to write thoughts, to cook. I wanted to… I wanted to do everything.

But the question is, was I going to be able to do everything and be good at it? Was I going to fail because it was just too much to deal with? Was it the right way to go? I was really scared (I’m still are).

I had always been a girl who wanted to do everything perfect. With this scenario, I was doomed. It seemed SO hard.  I needed to put things into a balance and decide. What was more important for me? Being perfect (though imposible) or doing all this stuff I loved as good as I could even if that meant making big mistakes? I was so worried all the time, trying to figure out how to fit every activity and not feel overwhealmed and pressured. I still couldn’t imagine doing things wrong. It frightened me so much…

When I finally understood that life is not about being perfect and the best, but, the other way round, about learning and failing to get better and keep learning… That’s when I finally did my shapeshift. That’s when I became a multitask girl who happends to fail quite oftenly. That’s when I finally realized that, if I had to make mistakes in orden to do whatever made sence for me then I would take the risk. I was making a difference in my life, in my entire wellbeing.

I know, you are probably thinking that it’s imposible to do a lot of things at a time and get somewhere. That it’s more productive to do just one thing at a time and get there quickly.

Well, I won’t say no to that thought. I know that for some people, maybe the majority, it is and needs to be that way. But not for me. I mean, If I get bored then I’m done. Sticking to just one sinlge thing it’s not the way for me. And might not even be the way for you either, and you haven’t found it out yet. We are all different, we are all unique. That’s the beauty of life.  

At this point I want to tell you that I’m not all done with my struggles. I have still have worries, and quite a few. I still do, nowadays, get that horrible feeling of being lost. I still , sometimes, get scared when my mind starts to tell me I SHOULD find that one thing to do forever and ever and not be bored with it… The difference is that, instead of getting frustrated and giving up, as I used to do, I embrace it and use it as a trigger to shapeshift once again. I use it in my own favour and think of it in a more encouraging way. Maybe one day I will end up just sticking to one and only thing, and maybe I won’t. But, in the mean time, I just try and live… I just try my best to do whatever feels right for me to do in that precise moment.

Some people meet their passion very early in life, some others find it when they turn 20 or don’t even get there till they are in their late 50s. Some people have multiple passions and there are even some that haven’t found it yet or that will never have one.

The truth is… It’s not about the time WHEN you get there, is not even about having a passion at all. I even sometimes find that word passion sounds a little bit to perfect for me…

But finding something, at least a tiny winy little light in life, THAT’S WHAT’S TRULY IMPORTANT. THAT’S WHAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE.

We are here for a short period of time. Let’s not waste it guys! We need to start enjoying our everyday life right now!

If you like to jog, then do it. If you like to sing, the do it. If you like to cook, then do it. If you like read, then do it…. It doesn’t matter how good or bad you are at it. JUST MAKE IT HAPPEN WHATEVER IT TAKES!

 

I’m happy I’ve taken these thoughts out of my system. I told you it was going to be a good day!

I’ll be in touch soon folks, please, in the mean while, LIVE YOUR LIFE and keep practicing your shapeshifting abilities!

 

Ma. Lulu

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